The Importance of Co-Parenting

I know yes she has already wrote a blog on co-parenting, but I never wrote about the true importance of them. Trying to get along with the parent of your children is highly important! You don’t want your kids growing up in a broken family. They need to see their parents getting along for their sake. Sadly this is not the case with my family and it breaks my heart. Our oldest daughter asks me all the time why her mommy and daddy don’t get along and I just tell her that they have their differences. It just hurts the children.

How hard do you think it will be to miss your child’s first soccer game, first day of school, or even school pictures? These are things we have to deal with, and it takes a huge toll on my husband. I feel so bad for him on a daily basis, because of everything he has to miss. There are days where the kids drive us insane, but nobody wants to miss these important things. They are big moments in a child’s life and its something that really does mean a lot to the kids. They want their parents to be there for them always and its hard to be there when ‘you’re not allowed’. I cant wait for everything to change soon and be able to attend everyhing that we want to.

Trying to co-parent with someone is very hard. People need to just put their feelings aside and let each other be there for the kids. I know it broke my heart not being able to see all of Makayla’s soccer games. So was my parents, because they play a huge role in their life as well. Being around the chidren is the highlight of their days anymore, and to be deprived of seeing them do something they ove is just hurtful. I pray and I pray that they can finally workout their differences and just get along for once. I just want the kids to have a united family. I understand that for some families that it is nearly impossible to coincide with o another, but I ant mine to o it.

I hate having to see the children suffer from their families not getting along. They need to learn to how to put their feelings aside and get along. That is a hard lesson in life. If someone at their school or work doesn’t get along with them, they don’t need to know to treat that person poorly because that’s how their parents do it. They need to learn to kill people with kindness. That is what my family always taught me growing up and that’s what my personal beliefs are.

 

Hopefully all of you can learn to co-parent for your children and let them know that love is everywhere

 

Ginger Mama

A Sick Mom

Hello Friends!

Today I woke up so sick! I could hardly move without wanting to vomit! My wonderful husband though decided to take 3 out of the 4 children to the gym and then the store, this way I could stay at home and rest. Well he had a meeting for work tonight; which meant me alone with four kids. I wont lie I am so glad they are in bed now! It was a long 3 hours without him.

The kids refused to eat, they didn’t want to pick up their toys, and it was non stop! They were whining over everything. I love my children more and more every day, but sometimes a mom needs a break. It was wonderful being alone with our daughter Marlene, but I would like time all to myself. Moms don’t get sick days. I didn’t get anything done today! I have been slacking on the housework and everything. We just got back from vacation, it was wonderful, and I am still in vacation mode. I don’t want to come back yet.

My wonderful husband cooked dinner for the children before he left and all he asked was that I make the bread sticks. Needless to say I’m so sick I was busy doing other things and burnt them. It was a good laugh when he got home though. Things are very rough in the household right now with me being sick and having all 4 kids plus my husband being home. I need to get back on schedule that way my house is somewhat back to organization rather than looking like a tornado went off in it. I know it drives my husband insane and I honestly feel bad, but I will get back to it once I start feeling better!

If it wasn’t for my husband today, I have no idea how I would’ve gotten through the day. It has been really stressful and busy. With him by my side though I know we can accomplish anything. He helps me when I am feeling down and just need someone to be there for me. He is truly my rock and I couldn’t ask for a better person to have by my side right now.

Ginger Mama

bay wearing to get things done
bay wearing to get things done

 

Marriage

Oh boy where do I begin with this one. The first year of marriage is HARD. Getting used to being around someone for a long period of time, getting used to bad habits, the arguing, not seeing eye to eye, and more is really tough. I wont lie, there are days I want to strangle my husband, but I love him dearly!

He has been off work since February because he broke his femur, and it has been rough! Constantly around each other 24/7. I can catch a break. Before when the children would nap I could get 2 hours to myself and relax or clean up for the day. Now I’m lucky to get 10 minutes to myself! I really enjoyed the time together the first couple of months because he works long hours, but after that became enough.

He is my everything from my rock to my best friend. He helps with the cleaning, kids, and cooking so  I cant complain too much. He may have his moments, but what man doesn’t. You ask any couple if their husband annoys them at times or gets on their nerves and they will all say of course! No matter how many arguments my husband and I may get into we will always love one another. Marriage takes patience and time. Especially at my house. with all the organized mayhem and the kids we have to have patience and seems like we never get enough time.

In 1 Corinthians 7:28 Paul says “Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” This verse goes to show that just because you guys may fight or have bad times together that it doesn’t mean you have a bad marriage, it simply states that you are experiencing a tough time right now.

My husband and I argue, but I respect him and try to show him that respect daily even though sometimes it is hard. Every man wants to feel respected just like every woman wants to feel loved. Ephesians 5:33 states, “However each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” This is something good to know if you are new to a marriage or are struggling in one. This is why when we fight and then get over it my husband will always know that I do respect him. I hope that some of you learn some from this blog and will be excited to read more on marriage from me.

 

Ginger Mama

A little mom to mom rant

You know I had this whole blog written about this woman I couldn’t stand, and i was about to post it until i realized how petty i was being. I need to stop letting these little things bother me so much. Its just hard working hard to get where you are and others get things handed to them. it drives me insane anymore. I started this blog to help others like me. step moms who aren’t involved because they cant be, women suffering from endometriosis, women suffering from  failing marriage, how to manage having a manipulative man, dealing with an abusive man, managing mayhem daily, all your planning needs, and basically anything else that you want t talk about.

I was excited how many views I got on my regular wordpress blog the first night, and th is why i decided to make this one. I hope that people will start seeing the honesty behind my blogs and why I write them. I want people to know someone is always here and will always care. I went through a lot of struggles in my past and now look a me. I’m a stay at home mom blogger, who hopes and prays that her blog will take off one day.

Im beginning to realize more and more in my life that I overthink a lot. I need to just slow down and hold on, because its never an easy ride. Life is tough, but so am I. I have been doing a lot better since i started to make my own planner inserts though. I really like the way they turned out and am excited to start making more. Doing those little things don’t let the other little things bother me. I get to preoccupied.

heres to hoping and praying my blog will soon flourish and be everything I want it to be.

 

Ginger Mama

How I started Planning

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Before I got married, I was so unorganized. I didn’t have a care in the world. I would go day by day, hour by hour. Finding things to do and missing already scheduled things. I would have plans with a friend I would forget about, doctors appointments I would miss, or even family events I’d miss. It became a huge problem for me to be quite honest. When I got married though we had a total of three kids right off the bat. Our son and then his two girls, so I had no room for missed dates anymore. I had to do something and fast.

I began searching online on how to become more organized and one day I decided to put it into affect. I decided to make a binder filled with all the things i had to do that day, week, and month. At first it was going great, I wasn’t missing or forgetting about a thing! Except I started to realize that I was slacking on my cleaning, bad.. My husband would get upset over this terribly, and it would cause us to get into an argument. Finally, I had enough and decided to add a cleaning schedule to my binder. once I inserted that, things started to run more smoothly around the house.

I was seeing a happier husband which made for a happier wife. i then began making my own inserts for my binder. Which I won’t lie, it was pretty difficult. Everything started to fall into place for me. I felt like I had everything under control until I had to start taking care of my father-in-law. He has Alzheimer’s and I take him to the doctors, visit him daily, go to the gym with him, and do his pills. Well it started to put a huge damper in my schedule, because I couldn’t find time to do everything in one day. I had to completely redo all of my inserts again to work around him as well. I began to forget things that I was told to do or appointments I made that day and it started to get really upsetting for me. I then created this insert to be able to jot down any information I needed to Blog topics, doctors appointments, refill reminders, basically anything I needed them for.

Jot_It_Down

Once I FINALLLLLLLY  got organized again life decided to knock me down one last time. I started to forget groceries! I would go to cook a meal and not have all the ingredients that I needed to make it. After doing that about 6 times I decided to make a weekly and monthly meal planning kit. This helped a lot because I shop every month and sometimes every two weeks for groceries. Next to my weekly kit had an ingredients section so I know what I need every time. This helped me because I could check my pantry, fridge, and freezer every week for the ingredients. You may wonder why I use both monthly and weekly, and that is a question I love to answer. I do it because when we go shopping at the end of each month I can compare which ingredients I need exactly for the month so we are not over or under stocked. I then do the weekly planning because it shows me what I need for that week and if I used it already I know I need to get more before that day. I try to stay as organized as possible.

Subscribe for my bi-weekly subscriptions and I will send you different printable’s you can use! (:

 

Ginger Mama

School and Life

So I am in this IT class, and it is hard for me. I won’t lie when I say that I struggle a lot at it mainly because I have no idea what i am doing. I can atch numerous videos on it and still never understand exactly what I am doing.  I have a relatively good grade in the class though, only because I follow his rubric to a T and never miss a thing on it. I’m not necessarily learning anything from the class, but I am doing great!

I just had a HUGE power point due and I have been stressing over my grade for a week now. Well guess what? I got a 16/16! I’ve never been more excited until now. I was literally screaming I was so happy. Don, my husband, didn’t know what to think until I told him why I was so happy. This was a big deal for me, because I worked really hard for a week straight on this. I exceeded everything that he required and to be completely honest, I cant tell you a thing about it!

It is hard to juggle my schoolwork with everything, but it will be all worth it in the end. I am going to school for my Associates in health Administration and also a certificate for medical coding and billing. I am excited to start my career when the kids go to school. Don wants me to be a stay at home mom until all the children are in school full-time, that way we don’t have to worry about them in someone else’s care.

Especially now a days. There have been so many bad things happening in daycare’s and by babysitters that I cant trust anyone with my children. Well my mom I can trust. She just spoils the kids rotten. They love their Nonna very much. If she was a stay at home grandma then the children would definitely be in her care rather than anyone else’s, but no she has to have a job! haha

Our oldest daughter, Makayla, absolutely loves the fact that I go to school. Mainly because I tell her that if she doesn’t bother mama when doing her schoolwork that my very first paycheck we are going out shopping! She hasn’t let that one live down, not even a little. The two younger ones, Liam and Addison, still don quite understand what I am doing; other than the fact I am on the computer. I hope to inspire them one day that its never too late to go back to school. As long as you have the right mind set, everything is possible. No matter what it is, and I hope when they are older that they can look back at these moments and remember that.

My book of life

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I take this with me everywhere I go! It has everything from my important dates,my father-in-laws medication list, my kids doctors information, my cleaning schedule, weekly meal planning, monthly and yearl goals, and also daily/weekly tasks to get done. This book is a life savior.

Sometimes when I misplace it, I feel like i am going to go insane without it. With all my schoolwork that I have to do and everything else with the kids and my family it gets too hard to go without it. Lately Ive needed it more and more. I just started to learn to make new inserts and I cannot wait to share them with my subscribers. I will have links to where you can print them off. I will be selling packets though on my Etsy shop that I have.

I make crib bedding and personalized name door decor. Trying to always stay on top of things is really hard. especially when you just feel overwhelmed. I get that way a lot since my husband broke his femur and has been home a lot. I feel like I have 3-5 kids to take care of! I sometimes let the housework slack becuase I dont know how to handle it all, but I always get back on track. always.

Even when I really dont want to do my schoolwork (like tonight), I still get it done because I have to. I have been struggling a lot lately on how to juggle everything, but with a little optimism and faith I can pull right out of that funk. Planners are fun to have and are very helpful for a woman like me!

 

Ginger Mama

Trying to Co-Parent

Co-Parenting is very hard, but is very essential in a relationship where there involves other kids. I know we don’t co-parent with our kids mom, because she refuses to tell us anything or talk to us. I try and tell them that they are only affecting the children by not getting along but they don’t see it that way.

They only see it as this is my time that is your time. I believe both parents should attend parent teacher conferences, extracurricular activities, and just be there anytime the kids need a support system. Not for someone to knowingly shut the other parent out of the children’s life, because they want someone else o be their parent.

I can say from personal experience not learning to co-parent with someone is very hard and takes a toll on the other parent. I don’t have a voice when it comes to kids according to their mom, which to me is wrong. I’m not just a step parent, I’m a PARENT. I do everything for those girls and give them everything they need. I’m just as much a mother to them as their own mom, but she doesn’t see it that way.

Its hard being a step parent I will say that now, but it is well worth it. I get extra love and experience a relationship that is absolutely wonderful. My life may be mayhem 98% of the time but it is worth it with my 4 kids. They all call me mom and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I love being a mother, but I just wish that we could all work together and get on the same page.

When this finally happens I will be a happier person. Especially a person with less stress! Its very stressful having to raise 4 kids and 2 of whom aren’t yours, and the mother refuses to communicate. We try and call to talk to the girls and the girls tell us they ask to call, but she doesn’t let them. Maybe one day she will stop punishing the girls for her own selfish reasoning’s and just help co-parent the babies. They need to put their feelings aside and work together. I tell myself all the time ‘Just breathe and remember there is light at the end of the tunnel’.

GingerMama

Being a Step Parent

step-parents-have-feelings-too

This blog is going to be about my experience as a step-mom. So far it has been a very rough ride. My husband and I have two children together, and he has two little girls with his ex-wife. They do NOT get along what so ever. In fact they actually hate each other. Well their two little girls are my whole world. We call our family a clan and I couldn’t be any more happy with what we have.

Their mother though, she drives me insane. She refuses to let us know anything about the children, or what is going on in their lives unless it is convenient for her. One day she may read all this, and think ‘I did it. I really did my job on making this woman’s life hell’. Which she has.. There are days it actually affects my marriage, because of how rude and inconsiderate she can be. I am a Christian woman but it is HARD being a step parent. Very hard.

Her main priority is to try to keep the children away. Sorry but that will NEVER happen. My husband and her do not see eye to eye at all, where her and I semi get along. I do it for the kids. Not her, not my husband, not myself, but for those children. She shows me no respect what so ever. Has told me several times I am not their parent so I have no say, and I don’t understand how she can say these things! I treat and love those girls as if they are my own. I have cried myself to sleep numerous times over this. Just because there is the word Step in front of mom, I am still a PARENT. They call me mom as well, and they get treated the same way my two do.

I guess I am writing this blog to let other women know there will always be light at the end of the tunnel. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. I am trying to always be optimistic and to be there for my husband, but it is hard at times. I battle a very painful health condition, take care  of the children, do the housework, raise a puppy, take care of my husband, my marriage, my father-in-law, and try to stay organized on top of it all which makes it very rough on me to be there for someone constantly. Especially when you can’t be there for yourself.

I guess all a ‘step’ mom wants, is to be treated and respected for what she really is. A MOM. I am a mother not a step mother. I have enrolled the girls into sports, I buy them clothes, feed them, and anything else they need or want, so therefore I am a mom and deserve the same respect as one. Just because I didn’t carry them or give birth to them doesn’t make me any less of a mother to them.

‘just breathe Justine, there is light at the end of the tunnel’

 

GingerMama

Loving Life

Sitting here tonight doing my schoolwork, yes I’m in college, I started to realize how truly lucky I am. I have a wonderful husband who works very hard to support our family. We may fight and really dislike each other at times, but we will always love one another. We have a total of 4

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