It’s a Bittersweet Moment

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It’s time for SCHOOL! That moment we are all so NOT ready for. I dropped my son off at preschool today and it was such a heartbreaking moment, but it was also an amazing moment as well. Our son has gotten so big and was so excited to start his first day of school. The teacher asked me to stay a little bit, to see how he would transition into the classroom, and he asked me to leave! Seriously!? I about cried right there and then because of that. He was playing and made a new friend as soon as he walked in the door.

He was ready to go and this mom wasn’t. I walked out of the door with tears in my eyes. I could barely make it to my car before te first tear started to shed. I never imagined it being this hard to send our children off to school. I thought it would be easy because now I get a break and will be able to get more done. NOPE! I was so wrong! It was one of the hardest things I have had to do because it means he is getting independent and won’t need me much longer.

We all want our kids to get independent and learn on their own, but we are never prepared for it to happen. Especially when it’s happening at such a young age. Our kids grow up so fast and sometimes we are so wrapped up in what needs to be done that we miss these things. I always see my son as the shy child he was a year ago and today he proved me wrong. There was a child who came up to him while he was playing and they instantly started to play together. This is something I, as a parent, was worried about. I didn’t think he would make a friend that quickly because of his shyness.

It’s that time for our children to learn for themselves and to grow up, but are we really prepared. Yes we go school shopping and help them learn at home, but we are never emotionally prepared for our children to leave us. Today I realized why my mom cried when we went to school, its because she loved us. She wasn’t ready for her babies to go off and without her. I now see this and experienced this priceless moment for myself today.

Ginger Mama

Teaching your children

This is one of the main things we have to do as parents. We cant just expect their teachers to do all the teaching, but we need to play our part in it too. Just recently I bought a chalkboard easel to help with my teaching. The children love having that here, because they get to interact more without a book. I think its important for children to learn hands on rather than through a screen or just in a book because it helps them remember better. They will remember drawing an apple on the board for A or a bumble bee for B. They may not remember the game they played or which letter they wrote. I noticed an improvement with the children once I started using the chalkboard.

They are kids and like to have fun so we need to make teaching fun. This is why we finger-paint letters and numbers here. This way they can learn and have fun doing so. The kids think they are just painting for fun, but in reality they are learning how to write letters and numbers. I found some pretty nifty ways on pintrest as well and the kids love them. Yeah we make a mess sometimes but that’s what we do. We always clean it up, but as long as we re having fun why get upset over a mess. There’s too many people that take these ties for granted and worry too much about the mess than what their children our doing.

You don’t get these memories back and need to enjoy them while you can. Especially now while they are young, because they grow up so fast. They wont be little long and we need to focus on shaping them for the future and making sure they are having fun still. Its important that e show our children unconditional love. We need to worry less about them getting in trouble and doing things they’re not supposed to and worry more about how were going to have fun next. We took the kids to a dolphin show not long ago and the smiles on their faces were unreal. They were so happy and were learning! The trainers were telling stories about how even farmers play a role with dolphins and the kids just sat there listening and engaging in the activities. That was an amazing experience and I’m so glad my husband took us there because even I had fun.

Life isn’t about what clothes you wear, what house you live in, and how organized you are, but its about the love you grew up with, the fun you had learning, the memories you have, and the moments you shared with one another. So we need to slow down and really evaluate what we re living for and how much time we are spending with out children. These are the moments that last a lifetime remember that.

 

Ginger Mama

The Importance of Co-Parenting

I know yes she has already wrote a blog on co-parenting, but I never wrote about the true importance of them. Trying to get along with the parent of your children is highly important! You don’t want your kids growing up in a broken family. They need to see their parents getting along for their sake. Sadly this is not the case with my family and it breaks my heart. Our oldest daughter asks me all the time why her mommy and daddy don’t get along and I just tell her that they have their differences. It just hurts the children.

How hard do you think it will be to miss your child’s first soccer game, first day of school, or even school pictures? These are things we have to deal with, and it takes a huge toll on my husband. I feel so bad for him on a daily basis, because of everything he has to miss. There are days where the kids drive us insane, but nobody wants to miss these important things. They are big moments in a child’s life and its something that really does mean a lot to the kids. They want their parents to be there for them always and its hard to be there when ‘you’re not allowed’. I cant wait for everything to change soon and be able to attend everyhing that we want to.

Trying to co-parent with someone is very hard. People need to just put their feelings aside and let each other be there for the kids. I know it broke my heart not being able to see all of Makayla’s soccer games. So was my parents, because they play a huge role in their life as well. Being around the chidren is the highlight of their days anymore, and to be deprived of seeing them do something they ove is just hurtful. I pray and I pray that they can finally workout their differences and just get along for once. I just want the kids to have a united family. I understand that for some families that it is nearly impossible to coincide with o another, but I ant mine to o it.

I hate having to see the children suffer from their families not getting along. They need to learn to how to put their feelings aside and get along. That is a hard lesson in life. If someone at their school or work doesn’t get along with them, they don’t need to know to treat that person poorly because that’s how their parents do it. They need to learn to kill people with kindness. That is what my family always taught me growing up and that’s what my personal beliefs are.

 

Hopefully all of you can learn to co-parent for your children and let them know that love is everywhere

 

Ginger Mama

A Sick Mom

Hello Friends!

Today I woke up so sick! I could hardly move without wanting to vomit! My wonderful husband though decided to take 3 out of the 4 children to the gym and then the store, this way I could stay at home and rest. Well he had a meeting for work tonight; which meant me alone with four kids. I wont lie I am so glad they are in bed now! It was a long 3 hours without him.

The kids refused to eat, they didn’t want to pick up their toys, and it was non stop! They were whining over everything. I love my children more and more every day, but sometimes a mom needs a break. It was wonderful being alone with our daughter Marlene, but I would like time all to myself. Moms don’t get sick days. I didn’t get anything done today! I have been slacking on the housework and everything. We just got back from vacation, it was wonderful, and I am still in vacation mode. I don’t want to come back yet.

My wonderful husband cooked dinner for the children before he left and all he asked was that I make the bread sticks. Needless to say I’m so sick I was busy doing other things and burnt them. It was a good laugh when he got home though. Things are very rough in the household right now with me being sick and having all 4 kids plus my husband being home. I need to get back on schedule that way my house is somewhat back to organization rather than looking like a tornado went off in it. I know it drives my husband insane and I honestly feel bad, but I will get back to it once I start feeling better!

If it wasn’t for my husband today, I have no idea how I would’ve gotten through the day. It has been really stressful and busy. With him by my side though I know we can accomplish anything. He helps me when I am feeling down and just need someone to be there for me. He is truly my rock and I couldn’t ask for a better person to have by my side right now.

Ginger Mama

bay wearing to get things done
bay wearing to get things done

 

Being a Step Parent

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This blog is going to be about my experience as a step-mom. So far it has been a very rough ride. My husband and I have two children together, and he has two little girls with his ex-wife. They do NOT get along what so ever. In fact they actually hate each other. Well their two little girls are my whole world. We call our family a clan and I couldn’t be any more happy with what we have.

Their mother though, she drives me insane. She refuses to let us know anything about the children, or what is going on in their lives unless it is convenient for her. One day she may read all this, and think ‘I did it. I really did my job on making this woman’s life hell’. Which she has.. There are days it actually affects my marriage, because of how rude and inconsiderate she can be. I am a Christian woman but it is HARD being a step parent. Very hard.

Her main priority is to try to keep the children away. Sorry but that will NEVER happen. My husband and her do not see eye to eye at all, where her and I semi get along. I do it for the kids. Not her, not my husband, not myself, but for those children. She shows me no respect what so ever. Has told me several times I am not their parent so I have no say, and I don’t understand how she can say these things! I treat and love those girls as if they are my own. I have cried myself to sleep numerous times over this. Just because there is the word Step in front of mom, I am still a PARENT. They call me mom as well, and they get treated the same way my two do.

I guess I am writing this blog to let other women know there will always be light at the end of the tunnel. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. I am trying to always be optimistic and to be there for my husband, but it is hard at times. I battle a very painful health condition, take care  of the children, do the housework, raise a puppy, take care of my husband, my marriage, my father-in-law, and try to stay organized on top of it all which makes it very rough on me to be there for someone constantly. Especially when you can’t be there for yourself.

I guess all a ‘step’ mom wants, is to be treated and respected for what she really is. A MOM. I am a mother not a step mother. I have enrolled the girls into sports, I buy them clothes, feed them, and anything else they need or want, so therefore I am a mom and deserve the same respect as one. Just because I didn’t carry them or give birth to them doesn’t make me any less of a mother to them.

‘just breathe Justine, there is light at the end of the tunnel’

 

GingerMama