The Importance of Co-Parenting

I know yes she has already wrote a blog on co-parenting, but I never wrote about the true importance of them. Trying to get along with the parent of your children is highly important! You don’t want your kids growing up in a broken family. They need to see their parents getting along for their sake. Sadly this is not the case with my family and it breaks my heart. Our oldest daughter asks me all the time why her mommy and daddy don’t get along and I just tell her that they have their differences. It just hurts the children.

How hard do you think it will be to miss your child’s first soccer game, first day of school, or even school pictures? These are things we have to deal with, and it takes a huge toll on my husband. I feel so bad for him on a daily basis, because of everything he has to miss. There are days where the kids drive us insane, but nobody wants to miss these important things. They are big moments in a child’s life and its something that really does mean a lot to the kids. They want their parents to be there for them always and its hard to be there when ‘you’re not allowed’. I cant wait for everything to change soon and be able to attend everyhing that we want to.

Trying to co-parent with someone is very hard. People need to just put their feelings aside and let each other be there for the kids. I know it broke my heart not being able to see all of Makayla’s soccer games. So was my parents, because they play a huge role in their life as well. Being around the chidren is the highlight of their days anymore, and to be deprived of seeing them do something they ove is just hurtful. I pray and I pray that they can finally workout their differences and just get along for once. I just want the kids to have a united family. I understand that for some families that it is nearly impossible to coincide with o another, but I ant mine to o it.

I hate having to see the children suffer from their families not getting along. They need to learn to how to put their feelings aside and get along. That is a hard lesson in life. If someone at their school or work doesn’t get along with them, they don’t need to know to treat that person poorly because that’s how their parents do it. They need to learn to kill people with kindness. That is what my family always taught me growing up and that’s what my personal beliefs are.

 

Hopefully all of you can learn to co-parent for your children and let them know that love is everywhere

 

Ginger Mama

A Sick Mom

Hello Friends!

Today I woke up so sick! I could hardly move without wanting to vomit! My wonderful husband though decided to take 3 out of the 4 children to the gym and then the store, this way I could stay at home and rest. Well he had a meeting for work tonight; which meant me alone with four kids. I wont lie I am so glad they are in bed now! It was a long 3 hours without him.

The kids refused to eat, they didn’t want to pick up their toys, and it was non stop! They were whining over everything. I love my children more and more every day, but sometimes a mom needs a break. It was wonderful being alone with our daughter Marlene, but I would like time all to myself. Moms don’t get sick days. I didn’t get anything done today! I have been slacking on the housework and everything. We just got back from vacation, it was wonderful, and I am still in vacation mode. I don’t want to come back yet.

My wonderful husband cooked dinner for the children before he left and all he asked was that I make the bread sticks. Needless to say I’m so sick I was busy doing other things and burnt them. It was a good laugh when he got home though. Things are very rough in the household right now with me being sick and having all 4 kids plus my husband being home. I need to get back on schedule that way my house is somewhat back to organization rather than looking like a tornado went off in it. I know it drives my husband insane and I honestly feel bad, but I will get back to it once I start feeling better!

If it wasn’t for my husband today, I have no idea how I would’ve gotten through the day. It has been really stressful and busy. With him by my side though I know we can accomplish anything. He helps me when I am feeling down and just need someone to be there for me. He is truly my rock and I couldn’t ask for a better person to have by my side right now.

Ginger Mama

bay wearing to get things done
bay wearing to get things done

 

Trying to Co-Parent

Co-Parenting is very hard, but is very essential in a relationship where there involves other kids. I know we don’t co-parent with our kids mom, because she refuses to tell us anything or talk to us. I try and tell them that they are only affecting the children by not getting along but they don’t see it that way.

They only see it as this is my time that is your time. I believe both parents should attend parent teacher conferences, extracurricular activities, and just be there anytime the kids need a support system. Not for someone to knowingly shut the other parent out of the children’s life, because they want someone else o be their parent.

I can say from personal experience not learning to co-parent with someone is very hard and takes a toll on the other parent. I don’t have a voice when it comes to kids according to their mom, which to me is wrong. I’m not just a step parent, I’m a PARENT. I do everything for those girls and give them everything they need. I’m just as much a mother to them as their own mom, but she doesn’t see it that way.

Its hard being a step parent I will say that now, but it is well worth it. I get extra love and experience a relationship that is absolutely wonderful. My life may be mayhem 98% of the time but it is worth it with my 4 kids. They all call me mom and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I love being a mother, but I just wish that we could all work together and get on the same page.

When this finally happens I will be a happier person. Especially a person with less stress! Its very stressful having to raise 4 kids and 2 of whom aren’t yours, and the mother refuses to communicate. We try and call to talk to the girls and the girls tell us they ask to call, but she doesn’t let them. Maybe one day she will stop punishing the girls for her own selfish reasoning’s and just help co-parent the babies. They need to put their feelings aside and work together. I tell myself all the time ‘Just breathe and remember there is light at the end of the tunnel’.

GingerMama

Being a Step Parent

step-parents-have-feelings-too

This blog is going to be about my experience as a step-mom. So far it has been a very rough ride. My husband and I have two children together, and he has two little girls with his ex-wife. They do NOT get along what so ever. In fact they actually hate each other. Well their two little girls are my whole world. We call our family a clan and I couldn’t be any more happy with what we have.

Their mother though, she drives me insane. She refuses to let us know anything about the children, or what is going on in their lives unless it is convenient for her. One day she may read all this, and think ‘I did it. I really did my job on making this woman’s life hell’. Which she has.. There are days it actually affects my marriage, because of how rude and inconsiderate she can be. I am a Christian woman but it is HARD being a step parent. Very hard.

Her main priority is to try to keep the children away. Sorry but that will NEVER happen. My husband and her do not see eye to eye at all, where her and I semi get along. I do it for the kids. Not her, not my husband, not myself, but for those children. She shows me no respect what so ever. Has told me several times I am not their parent so I have no say, and I don’t understand how she can say these things! I treat and love those girls as if they are my own. I have cried myself to sleep numerous times over this. Just because there is the word Step in front of mom, I am still a PARENT. They call me mom as well, and they get treated the same way my two do.

I guess I am writing this blog to let other women know there will always be light at the end of the tunnel. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. I am trying to always be optimistic and to be there for my husband, but it is hard at times. I battle a very painful health condition, take care  of the children, do the housework, raise a puppy, take care of my husband, my marriage, my father-in-law, and try to stay organized on top of it all which makes it very rough on me to be there for someone constantly. Especially when you can’t be there for yourself.

I guess all a ‘step’ mom wants, is to be treated and respected for what she really is. A MOM. I am a mother not a step mother. I have enrolled the girls into sports, I buy them clothes, feed them, and anything else they need or want, so therefore I am a mom and deserve the same respect as one. Just because I didn’t carry them or give birth to them doesn’t make me any less of a mother to them.

‘just breathe Justine, there is light at the end of the tunnel’

 

GingerMama