Prioritizing your life

This morning, after my coffee of course, I decided to do my workout at home rather than the gym. I must say I really am tired now. I decided it was time for me to set aside priorities throughout my day of what needs and what I want to get done. Especially after reading this book I have been enjoying. It’s called ‘say goodbye to survival mode’ and it has helped me a lot. I am realizing now what is more important than anything else.

 

It has you do activities in the book to help you realize and prioritize your life. It calls it your best stuff list and everyone’s are different. My main things are as follows

  1. Maintain a good and heathy relationship with my husband
  2. Have and maintain my religion
  3. Spend as much quality time with my children as I can
  4. Exercise exercise exercise
  5. Write my blogs
  6. Maintain my home

I need to set aside how many hours a day I am going to spend on each of these.   That is the hard part; finding time to get everything I want/need done in one day. As a Christian woman, my faith is important to me and I like to spend at least an hour working in my faith journal. This helps me with my relationship with the lord and feel closer to him. I started to realize with my busy schedule I have been having that I haven’t been spending enough time with my husband and my children. Yes, I am a stay at home mom but they won’t be this little for long and I need to make sure I catch every moment of every day with them. I don’t want to miss a thing. As for my husband, I don’t want our relationship to start drifting into a pattern of “how was your day” “what’s the weather like” “did you get the kids ready for school”; I want something real. Something that is going to refuel the fire we had.

I try my hardest to get everything done and say yes to do everything when in all honesty, I just need to say no sometimes. My plate is full but I keep overflowing it with more and more things. I feel like I must do certain things and it’s starting to make me have mini panic attacks from not getting everything done. For instance, my planners. I’m so dedicated to decorating them, that sometimes I forget to write in there what needs to be done and forget about it! Just the other day I forgot about a doctor’s appointment I had! Thank goodness for reminder calls!

There’s so many things in one day that I have committed myself to do and not enough time in the day to get it done. Especially since it gets dark so early now! It’s been so dreary here that I can’t get anything done outside I want to. I started to feel like I was failing at being a wife, mother, daughter, friend, everything! Then I read this book and realized I wasn’t failing I was just expecting too much of myself. If I only give myself what I can handle, then I won’t feel like a failure but I will accomplish everything that needs to be done! I can do this! I can be supermom without having to take on so manty different things!

If you feel like you can’t do something, just go through your list of things that must be done and prioritize your life. Cleaning can get done but watching your daughter take her first steps is something you can’t get back. Really reevaluate everything in your life and make it your own, to where it works for you!

 

Ginger Mama

Been a long time but here’s my post

Nonna and Miss Marlene

I know it has been a long time since I have last written a blog, and for that I am sorry. We have been super busy at our house preparing for a little surprise that I will announce at a later date. My daughter has also been pretty ill lately. She had what started out as a small infection on her leg and ended up having to have surgery and has now been in the hospital for almost 4 days because she cannot keep anything down. My mom has been such a huge help during this time. She is sitting here now while I type on the computer (don’t worry mom I am listening to my homework video) and do my homework/blog. 

My husband has been working crazy hours lately, our son’s birthday is coming up, we celebrated our anniversary, planning for our vacation, my father-in-law is getting worse, and it just seems like everything is falling apart. You want to know how I keep pushing through it all? I look at my children. That’s my why. They are why I do so much and try to make everything perfect for them. Yeah my kids may not remember their birthday parties where we had real live princesses there or how this toy story party is going to be a big one, but that’s what I like to do. I like to see my kids happy. Having Marlene in the hospital right now has been killing me. I hate seeing my baby so sick and not being able to do anything for her anymore. It started off that she was just in so much pain, and now has turned into something so much worse. They have her on iv fluids but she isn’t having many wet diapers. Plus, when they try to feed her, she can’t keep it down at all.

My family has been a true blessing through all of this. My dad is watching my son as we speak, my mom is watching Marlene so I can type, and tomorrow their Uncle is going to watch Liam if we have to stay the night again. BEST PART COMING UP. The girl’s mom let us facetime the children while we are in the hospital. It meant a lot to me. It truly did, because for once Marlene was actually happy and smiling to see her sisters. I was shocked but even more so thankful. It meant a lot to see Marlene happy and smiling to see her sisters. It was a breath of fresh air after nights of her being miserable. Maybe this is a stepping stone for us. I hope so!!! (:

Thank you to everyone who is on my Instagram and Facebook that has been praying for my family lately. It truly means a lot. Hopefully we can go home tonight and if not today then tomorrow. I will indeed keep everyone updated on Facebook and Instagram as well. remember to never hesitate to message me!

 

Love and peace always, 

Ginger Mama

It’s a Bittersweet Moment

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It’s time for SCHOOL! That moment we are all so NOT ready for. I dropped my son off at preschool today and it was such a heartbreaking moment, but it was also an amazing moment as well. Our son has gotten so big and was so excited to start his first day of school. The teacher asked me to stay a little bit, to see how he would transition into the classroom, and he asked me to leave! Seriously!? I about cried right there and then because of that. He was playing and made a new friend as soon as he walked in the door.

He was ready to go and this mom wasn’t. I walked out of the door with tears in my eyes. I could barely make it to my car before te first tear started to shed. I never imagined it being this hard to send our children off to school. I thought it would be easy because now I get a break and will be able to get more done. NOPE! I was so wrong! It was one of the hardest things I have had to do because it means he is getting independent and won’t need me much longer.

We all want our kids to get independent and learn on their own, but we are never prepared for it to happen. Especially when it’s happening at such a young age. Our kids grow up so fast and sometimes we are so wrapped up in what needs to be done that we miss these things. I always see my son as the shy child he was a year ago and today he proved me wrong. There was a child who came up to him while he was playing and they instantly started to play together. This is something I, as a parent, was worried about. I didn’t think he would make a friend that quickly because of his shyness.

It’s that time for our children to learn for themselves and to grow up, but are we really prepared. Yes we go school shopping and help them learn at home, but we are never emotionally prepared for our children to leave us. Today I realized why my mom cried when we went to school, its because she loved us. She wasn’t ready for her babies to go off and without her. I now see this and experienced this priceless moment for myself today.

Ginger Mama

Teaching your children

This is one of the main things we have to do as parents. We cant just expect their teachers to do all the teaching, but we need to play our part in it too. Just recently I bought a chalkboard easel to help with my teaching. The children love having that here, because they get to interact more without a book. I think its important for children to learn hands on rather than through a screen or just in a book because it helps them remember better. They will remember drawing an apple on the board for A or a bumble bee for B. They may not remember the game they played or which letter they wrote. I noticed an improvement with the children once I started using the chalkboard.

They are kids and like to have fun so we need to make teaching fun. This is why we finger-paint letters and numbers here. This way they can learn and have fun doing so. The kids think they are just painting for fun, but in reality they are learning how to write letters and numbers. I found some pretty nifty ways on pintrest as well and the kids love them. Yeah we make a mess sometimes but that’s what we do. We always clean it up, but as long as we re having fun why get upset over a mess. There’s too many people that take these ties for granted and worry too much about the mess than what their children our doing.

You don’t get these memories back and need to enjoy them while you can. Especially now while they are young, because they grow up so fast. They wont be little long and we need to focus on shaping them for the future and making sure they are having fun still. Its important that e show our children unconditional love. We need to worry less about them getting in trouble and doing things they’re not supposed to and worry more about how were going to have fun next. We took the kids to a dolphin show not long ago and the smiles on their faces were unreal. They were so happy and were learning! The trainers were telling stories about how even farmers play a role with dolphins and the kids just sat there listening and engaging in the activities. That was an amazing experience and I’m so glad my husband took us there because even I had fun.

Life isn’t about what clothes you wear, what house you live in, and how organized you are, but its about the love you grew up with, the fun you had learning, the memories you have, and the moments you shared with one another. So we need to slow down and really evaluate what we re living for and how much time we are spending with out children. These are the moments that last a lifetime remember that.

 

Ginger Mama

Having all 4 kiddos

Well everyone and I say everyone because I absolutely love my stats feedback! Thank you everyone for reading my blogs! I hope it helps some of you! Now lately we have had all four kids for our extended vacation. I must say it has been very rough since my surgery but also very rewarding. We went to see a dolphin show! I cried (mainly from the hormone pill) because I was so happy! Our 5 year old absolutely loved it and now wants to be a dolphin trainer! Which of course I told her she can be anything that she wants to be. She is so excited. She adored watching the dolphins do flips and play around. I don’t know if it was me or her that had more fun though. That was all we talked about for 3 days straight was how awesome it was, and that we can’t wait to go back.

Well as you know I recently had a full hysterectomy at the age of 23. Now it was mandatory from all the complications I was having. I don’t like it because right now it hurts really bad, but once I heal I am so excited to live a pain free life again. The kids have been such a great help. Makayla has helped a lot with laundry cleaning, and helping mommy with the kids. Shes my little helper, even though I give her money every time she does something for me! She deserves it though, because she honestly is such a great girl when she’s here. Oh good news everyone! We will officially be getting the girls more now and I haven’t been happier. I already have so much planned from now until October. We may have a minor set back, but it will be taken care of hopefully in a respectful manner.

My husband will be going back to work here in a couple weeks which means the kiddos and I will be spending a lot of time together. I’m so happy for that, because I love the quality time we spend together. We  do a lot of fun things together because well we can. The kids are great and we have a blast. Mainly because I am still a kid at heart and they love that about me. I’m not just a mom, I’m a best friend too. You have to be a best friend to your children right now because they need that. They need a mentor to show them how to do things but a friend who is always there for them when they need it. I will always be there for my kids, no matter what. They are my everything, ALLLLL of them. Kids really just want your time and affection at these ages.

Its time for this Mama to get up and get some cleaning done! Its been really hard since my surgery, so I have fallen behind on my housework and I am going insane looking at it. So is my husband as well. It’s time to just suck it up and get it done. Have a good night everyone!

 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.        John 14:27

Ginger Mama

The Importance of Co-Parenting

I know yes she has already wrote a blog on co-parenting, but I never wrote about the true importance of them. Trying to get along with the parent of your children is highly important! You don’t want your kids growing up in a broken family. They need to see their parents getting along for their sake. Sadly this is not the case with my family and it breaks my heart. Our oldest daughter asks me all the time why her mommy and daddy don’t get along and I just tell her that they have their differences. It just hurts the children.

How hard do you think it will be to miss your child’s first soccer game, first day of school, or even school pictures? These are things we have to deal with, and it takes a huge toll on my husband. I feel so bad for him on a daily basis, because of everything he has to miss. There are days where the kids drive us insane, but nobody wants to miss these important things. They are big moments in a child’s life and its something that really does mean a lot to the kids. They want their parents to be there for them always and its hard to be there when ‘you’re not allowed’. I cant wait for everything to change soon and be able to attend everyhing that we want to.

Trying to co-parent with someone is very hard. People need to just put their feelings aside and let each other be there for the kids. I know it broke my heart not being able to see all of Makayla’s soccer games. So was my parents, because they play a huge role in their life as well. Being around the chidren is the highlight of their days anymore, and to be deprived of seeing them do something they ove is just hurtful. I pray and I pray that they can finally workout their differences and just get along for once. I just want the kids to have a united family. I understand that for some families that it is nearly impossible to coincide with o another, but I ant mine to o it.

I hate having to see the children suffer from their families not getting along. They need to learn to how to put their feelings aside and get along. That is a hard lesson in life. If someone at their school or work doesn’t get along with them, they don’t need to know to treat that person poorly because that’s how their parents do it. They need to learn to kill people with kindness. That is what my family always taught me growing up and that’s what my personal beliefs are.

 

Hopefully all of you can learn to co-parent for your children and let them know that love is everywhere

 

Ginger Mama

A Sick Mom

Hello Friends!

Today I woke up so sick! I could hardly move without wanting to vomit! My wonderful husband though decided to take 3 out of the 4 children to the gym and then the store, this way I could stay at home and rest. Well he had a meeting for work tonight; which meant me alone with four kids. I wont lie I am so glad they are in bed now! It was a long 3 hours without him.

The kids refused to eat, they didn’t want to pick up their toys, and it was non stop! They were whining over everything. I love my children more and more every day, but sometimes a mom needs a break. It was wonderful being alone with our daughter Marlene, but I would like time all to myself. Moms don’t get sick days. I didn’t get anything done today! I have been slacking on the housework and everything. We just got back from vacation, it was wonderful, and I am still in vacation mode. I don’t want to come back yet.

My wonderful husband cooked dinner for the children before he left and all he asked was that I make the bread sticks. Needless to say I’m so sick I was busy doing other things and burnt them. It was a good laugh when he got home though. Things are very rough in the household right now with me being sick and having all 4 kids plus my husband being home. I need to get back on schedule that way my house is somewhat back to organization rather than looking like a tornado went off in it. I know it drives my husband insane and I honestly feel bad, but I will get back to it once I start feeling better!

If it wasn’t for my husband today, I have no idea how I would’ve gotten through the day. It has been really stressful and busy. With him by my side though I know we can accomplish anything. He helps me when I am feeling down and just need someone to be there for me. He is truly my rock and I couldn’t ask for a better person to have by my side right now.

Ginger Mama

bay wearing to get things done
bay wearing to get things done

 

Trying to Co-Parent

Co-Parenting is very hard, but is very essential in a relationship where there involves other kids. I know we don’t co-parent with our kids mom, because she refuses to tell us anything or talk to us. I try and tell them that they are only affecting the children by not getting along but they don’t see it that way.

They only see it as this is my time that is your time. I believe both parents should attend parent teacher conferences, extracurricular activities, and just be there anytime the kids need a support system. Not for someone to knowingly shut the other parent out of the children’s life, because they want someone else o be their parent.

I can say from personal experience not learning to co-parent with someone is very hard and takes a toll on the other parent. I don’t have a voice when it comes to kids according to their mom, which to me is wrong. I’m not just a step parent, I’m a PARENT. I do everything for those girls and give them everything they need. I’m just as much a mother to them as their own mom, but she doesn’t see it that way.

Its hard being a step parent I will say that now, but it is well worth it. I get extra love and experience a relationship that is absolutely wonderful. My life may be mayhem 98% of the time but it is worth it with my 4 kids. They all call me mom and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I love being a mother, but I just wish that we could all work together and get on the same page.

When this finally happens I will be a happier person. Especially a person with less stress! Its very stressful having to raise 4 kids and 2 of whom aren’t yours, and the mother refuses to communicate. We try and call to talk to the girls and the girls tell us they ask to call, but she doesn’t let them. Maybe one day she will stop punishing the girls for her own selfish reasoning’s and just help co-parent the babies. They need to put their feelings aside and work together. I tell myself all the time ‘Just breathe and remember there is light at the end of the tunnel’.

GingerMama

Being a Step Parent

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This blog is going to be about my experience as a step-mom. So far it has been a very rough ride. My husband and I have two children together, and he has two little girls with his ex-wife. They do NOT get along what so ever. In fact they actually hate each other. Well their two little girls are my whole world. We call our family a clan and I couldn’t be any more happy with what we have.

Their mother though, she drives me insane. She refuses to let us know anything about the children, or what is going on in their lives unless it is convenient for her. One day she may read all this, and think ‘I did it. I really did my job on making this woman’s life hell’. Which she has.. There are days it actually affects my marriage, because of how rude and inconsiderate she can be. I am a Christian woman but it is HARD being a step parent. Very hard.

Her main priority is to try to keep the children away. Sorry but that will NEVER happen. My husband and her do not see eye to eye at all, where her and I semi get along. I do it for the kids. Not her, not my husband, not myself, but for those children. She shows me no respect what so ever. Has told me several times I am not their parent so I have no say, and I don’t understand how she can say these things! I treat and love those girls as if they are my own. I have cried myself to sleep numerous times over this. Just because there is the word Step in front of mom, I am still a PARENT. They call me mom as well, and they get treated the same way my two do.

I guess I am writing this blog to let other women know there will always be light at the end of the tunnel. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. I am trying to always be optimistic and to be there for my husband, but it is hard at times. I battle a very painful health condition, take care  of the children, do the housework, raise a puppy, take care of my husband, my marriage, my father-in-law, and try to stay organized on top of it all which makes it very rough on me to be there for someone constantly. Especially when you can’t be there for yourself.

I guess all a ‘step’ mom wants, is to be treated and respected for what she really is. A MOM. I am a mother not a step mother. I have enrolled the girls into sports, I buy them clothes, feed them, and anything else they need or want, so therefore I am a mom and deserve the same respect as one. Just because I didn’t carry them or give birth to them doesn’t make me any less of a mother to them.

‘just breathe Justine, there is light at the end of the tunnel’

 

GingerMama